“And how was your day?”
That’s the question I get most nights at the dinner table. You see, despite the myth that the family dinner is, well, a myth, it lives in my house. I cook, maybe not at that moment, but I prepare meals from scratch and sit down to eat with my kids almost every night. Sometimes, we even have my husband at the table too, but he gets home at 6:30 and that’s often a little late for IT Boy and Soccer Girl to begin their nightly chow-down. Most times if we have already eaten, she and I will sit down with him if I don’t have to put Boy to bed.
One rule is no electronic devices or reading material unless there is a really important reason to do so. I used to read at the table all the time as a kid, so it’s a hard rule for me to live up to, but I try.
When she was little before her brother was born, we used to start out meals by having each person say one bad thing that happened in their day. The logic was that once you said it, it was over and done, and you could move on to talk about what the good thing of the day was. Sometimes she would expand on the theme by asking a silly thing, a funny thing, and so on. Can’t remember where I read about a family that did it, but it was a really good idea to get everyone at the table communicating.
Most dinners now, the first question out of Girl’s mouth is, “How was work today?” Most times, I just want to move on, to talk about anything else, to make that the BAD THING. Not that work is bad, but there is much more that is exciting in the world.
The other night, I realized from the expression on her face that I was doing her a total diservice. She geniunely wants to know about what I do at work. Why it’s important for me to work and why what I do matters. Maybe she’s thinking, gosh, when I grow up, I hope I am not as bitter and jaded as my mom (darling, we all hope for that!) and I know I will talk to my kids differently.
Heck I should do it only so SHE knows she is not off the hook when I ask about her day. I don’t want to ever EVER cut off the lines of communication between me and my kids and I always have to think think think about how to keep them open.
What strategies do you take to keep communications open with your kids?
Currently there are "4 comments" on this Article:
Leave a Reply
I’m Speaking!
About the IT Girl
Bringing sexy back to soccer mom since 2006... Read More »
-
We do the same thing. I’m lucky that I have a job where — most of the time — I can get home in time to sit with everyone. As the kids get older and activities increase, it does get harder and harder to have everyone together every night, but we are able to do it at least the majority of nights.
It’s a point of pride that we’ve been able to keep this up long enough that it’s the main way of eating dinner my HS Senior has known, and all the more poignant to think that next September, there will be one less at the table.
I look forward to hearing about everyone’s day, even if it’s just a silly story about how funny someone’s friend was a lunch (you had to be there), or how annoying some Science teacher was that day. I recommend it highly to any new parents.
I bet that member of the family will miss those dinners when he leaves!
Such an important post! In a world where two-income families exist sometimes because there’s no other choice, it is very, very difficult to keep touch with our kids and our family. I’m lucky in that I am at breakfast every morning with the boys, and every night at dinner. And either my husband or me are the ones dropping my son off and picking him up from school each day. But our night time ritual has become an important part of our day. As I’m rocking my one-year old, I recount the day to him. As I rub my 5-year old’s back, he’s telling me things that happened or things he’s making or what he wants to be when he grows up. Yeah, I’m tired, and yeah assisting my kids to bed is probably frowned upon in some parenting book somewhere under the “he won’t learn how to self-soothe” section, but with the little time we have these days to spend at home, every precious second counts.
I’m right there with you. We almost always eat as a family, and it’s very important to us. We don’t have any real rules about conversation, but we talk about everything- politics, school, work, things that need to get accomplished, and so on. It’s an interesting night when we spend equal time insisting that our 8yo sit while eating (and yes he must eat the broccoli) and on who will win the Republican primary and how the Obama campaign will handle it. I figure it’s a good way for my kids to learn there’s no topic off limits at our table, even if they’re off limits at Grandma’s table. I think that I need to follow your example and engage my kids in more topics, though, do more listening on what they want to talk about.